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Board me quickly; cast to sea;
leave this grieving shoreline.
How welcome this exile.
Never again to pass where I watched
unknown
still wearing your scent,
your touch, all made doubly absent
by strangers’ ignorant sobs.

No one saw; my mourning days unwritten,
these waiting days left
on quite roadsides, wondering
if indeed I would last
forever, how long named by
past-tense love,
wishing us present, wishing again
to read your mind as only
one soul allows.

Abide with me.
Remain with me.
My wisdom, yes, but more my plea –
my heart’s great cry.
I ran to those you love,
gave them all I knew,
searching their beauty, their glory
for any piece for every piece of you,
hoping my feet once more would carry
me faster and this time find you waiting.

I miss your words.
Replaying them in my head, I cling to comfort
as your voice becomes more ink than breath.
And here I wait again, each
slapping wave releasing me from these remembered places,
washing my feet once more;
the ghost-less sea leading
me in unexpected kindness to
my laying bare.

Light and love are my embankment;
even here they shield and secure me,
holding me until in thrilling
delirium I feast on this glimpse.
Across the adoring multitude:
my friend.
And I forget even the future,
beholding the beloved,
knowing that against you again I’ll recline.

come
please come.

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I’ve been trying to get this one out for more than a year, but it wouldn’t let go.  Turned out there were some things I just didn’t know enough to write yet.  After a little more waiting (and working and listening), I think we found a point that we’re happy with.  I’m excited it’s here now.  Hope you enjoy.

I’ve been wanting to put up a real picture just so you’d know we actually exist.  I’d love for this to be the picture at the top of the blog, but I’m pretty sure that’s impossible or would at least take more figuring out than I have patience for.  A friend of ours who is a fantastic photographer took it, and I completely love it.  It also may be the only picture of the 3 of us together taken in the last six months (I have no idea how that happens, but it’s true). It’s also a little misleading since it was taken on one of the six days all year that we all need heavy coats (these are heavy to us!  And yes, I’m holding my daughter’s instead of making her wear it.) and it’s currently 95 degrees outside, but again, I just like the picture.  Hope you do too!

How nice that you would say
like a greeting card thoughtfully
chosen from a massive
wall of sentiment that
I am acceptable and my
company pleasant.
How nice to be among the
millions for whom those
words were scripted and
polished, made emphatic
with gilding and glossy picture.

I smiled and moved
to tuck it away, secure and
harmless in its casing, crisp
and white, protecting the
perfect corners and
mannequin words, almost missing
the note inside, overlooked
in knowing all you had to say.

I took it barely, just the edge, its
substance creased and
softened to cloth by
years carried in your pocket.
I read it twice,
as if my eyes were unsure
of themselves when confronted
with penned words, their stark,
chosen reality, the move of
each like DNA,
your undeniable imprint.

I saw then, the lines of
ink gone easy with age, long
enough for you to know me
and still mean them; I read
again and believed. I came apart.